Joshua's home

We finally got to bring Joshua home, unfortunately not in the way we had planned.

Sad day

September 17. Today should have been Joshua's birthday. If things had have gone to plan, we would be at the hospital right now with our boy in our arms wondering how this breastfeeding thing is supposed to work.

Instead we went to Half Moon Bay, to the cliffs by the Ritz Carlton and released 2 helium balloons, one with a photo of Joshua on it as a memorial to him and to say good-bye. It's amazing how suddenly life can change. We'd planned so many things in our future that we were going to do with Joshua.

So today was sad, but I certainly wasn't as depressed as I thought I would be. I thought today would have a huge significance, but it turned out to be just another day.

We're definitely moving on and getting on with our lives. Physically I feel much better which I think helps. We went for a walk to downtown Mountain View yesterday to go to the markets, and I think we did about 1 1/2 hours of walking in total, and I felt fine.

Life goes on. I'm sure we'll still have bad days, and we'll shed more tears, but there's no use dwelling on what should have been. Andrew's back at work tomorrow, and I'll start doing more exploring with mum of the local area. I've also seen a job I'm interested in, so am thinking about applying for that.

Our baby Joshua

Some photos we got of Joshua

Family photo on Tuesday



Me with Joshua on Tuesday



Mum with Joshua



Baby Joshua on Friday - looks like he's just sleeping

We lost Joshua

I still can't believe I'm having to write this, but little Joshua died, most likely sometime on Monday in what they believe was a cord accident. I still had to deliver him by c section, and when he came out he had the umbilical cord tightly wrapped around his neck twice, and once around his body.

Andrew's written a comprehensive blog post about what happened, so pop on over here to read more.

Baby shower

Our neighbours were nice enough to organise a baby shower for us which we had today. We went to a nearby park and had a really nice BBQ just hanging out with friends, relaxing and enjoying the gorgeous Californian weather!

We were lucky enough to receive some really nice gifts from people - all we need now is a baby!

Only 2 weeks and a couple of days to go!

Crowded House concert

I found out last Saturday that Crowded House was in the area for a bunch of concerts. Unfortunately tickets were almost sold out so I had to sit on my own, but that was fine. They were playing at a local winery, which was a beautiful, small outdoors venue. It was a gorgeous night and there was a full moon the night before and the sun was just starting to set, so the moon rose throughout the concert.

Crowded House were fabulous and it was awesome to see them in such a small venue. They alternated between one new and one old song, and seemed to be having a really good time which made the concert even more enjoyable.

One of the ushers was nice enough to move me to the disabled section where I could have a chair with a back rather than the wooden bench I was originally sitting on (she understood the fun of being pregnant...), so that was nice! I was probably 40m away from the stage, so had a great view!

Overall a great night :-)